New Years Resolutions (Part 1)
Most of Nascar's top drivers are far from perfect (well, except for Tim Sauter). So its no surprise that some New Years Resolutions are in order. Here's a look (more tomorrow):
00 David Reutimann--Eat healthy.
01 Mark Martin--Count his blessings (note: could take until mid-April to complete).
07 Clint Bowyer--Get Richard Childress to start partner team with sponsor "Squat".
1 Martin Truex Jr.--Meet Bono.
2 Kurt Busch--Finish plastic surgery with Elfinectomy operation.
4 Ward Burton--Install new water heater in outhouse.
5 Kyle Busch--Eat bowl of cereal and motor oil every morning.
6 David Ragan--Find woman to "use him for all he's worth".
7 Robby Gordon--Continue therapy sessions to rid fear of Monsters on helmet.
8 Dale Earnhardt Jr.--See career counselor to find out proper path to becoming a full-time celebrity.
9 Kasey Kahne--Find woman prettier than him.
10 Scott Riggs--Put on 150lbs, go by new nickname "Big Riggs".
11 Denny Hamlin--Get sponsor to restart search for Chuck Noland.
12 Ryan Newman--Instruct wife to "come and get your love".
13 Joe Nemechek--Begin getting resume together.
14 Sterling Marlin--Start making plans for 2008 retirement tour: "Itssa lass lap, y'all"
15 Paul Menard--Look into changing embarrassing last name to more professional choice, such as "Nutley", "Ballmer", or "Gonadawitz".
16 Greg Biffle--Try to bang Lea Thompson without McFly getting in the way.
17 Matt Kenseth--Open bee sanctuary.
18 J.J. Yeley--Record duet with Kermit the Frog: "Its not easy being the third best driver on this team."
19 Elliott Sadler--Kick that 2-pack-a-day M&M habit.
20 Tony Stewart--Channel all rage and anger into beating the living hell out of Dan Snyder.
(part 2 tomorrow)