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12.04.2006

JaysList continued

As I pointed out on Saturday, you can find a lot on Jayski's new website, JaysList, a version of Craigslist. Here's some listings I found under the "For Sale" heading:

500lbs of Bass
Freshly caught, large quantities of this delicious fish are for sale. Were caught on weekly excursions with our sponsor, so you know they were scaled by a pro. Need to move quickly to clear out fridge space for Budweiser. You must pick-up--when you arrive, ask for "Number One."

1993 Packard Bell Pentium 1 Computer
Fine piece of technology available for the ultra-low price of $1,200 (less than half of what we payed for it!) Have been using it to calibrate race set-ups, do payroll and type up our driver's lawsuit against Haas. Internet-ready with 28Kbp modem--a great way to find out What's Online! Need to sell to make room for new Acer Pentium 2.

Driver-Robots
17 Driver-Robots available for just $500 each. All come equipped with driving, speaking, and Packers-rooting ability. These are the "Winning Robots" models, which we are replacing with "Robots of Tomorrow" models due out in 2007. Most are missing personality-chip, but these should be easy to obtain. WARNING--robots will short-circuit around Reese's cups.

2004 Lexus--Badly Damaged
ISC is selling this 2004 Lexus 4-Door Sedan for pennies on the dollar. This was badly damaged in an accident last month, but can be fixed up with the right work (just like the Banquet). All damage is to exterior, except for cup holder next to drivers' seat, which apparently did not work before the accident. Remember, when you buy from ISC, you're buying from a fiercely-American company.

Jimmy Spencer Statue--FREE
City of Berwick, PA is giving away this lifesized granite Jimmy Spencer statue. Unable to sell at auction, town needs it removed ASAP to make room for a McDonald's. Installed in 1994, has minimal damage, though needs about 40 lbs. of concrete around mid-section to be current. Comes with detachable hairpiece.

1 Comments:

At 9:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey! I had an Acer Pentium II computer :-/ Served me well for seven years. Ah, memories.

 

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