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Real Racing...Fake News...Updated Nightly

11.19.2006

Congratulations Tony!

Bill Weber: "Jimmie Johnson, your 2006 Nextel Cup Champion. From all of us at NBC, thanks for the ride. For further coverage, switch over to CNBC."

(click)

Host: "Well, the REAL money supply is completely controlled by calico cats, who use yarn to--"

Weber: "Welcome those of you not watching the Dallas-Indy game who also have CNBC on their cable systems. We'd like to welcome all 12 of you to a very special presentation. To Dave Burns."

Dave: "Here with Tony Stewart, a strong finish to the season, CLINCHING The Outside Groove's 2006 11th place spot."
Tony: "Um, thanks Dave."
Dave: "Here with the trophy presentation is Chairman, CEO, Head Writer, and Secretariat, Mike Mackler--Mike?"
Mike: "Thanks Dave--Tony, its a great honor to present you with The Outside Groove's 2006 Championship--I mean, 11th place trophy. We had this especially made at the mall--you see, the little gold guy at the top is bowling a tire instead of a ball. As a University of Maryland Basketball fan, I know what its like to the best, and I know what its like to be the best of the rest. Congrats, Tony, you've won our NIT."
Tony: "Uh...thanks, Mark"
Mike: "Its Mike"
Tony: "Whatever, um, I guess this is good for Home Depot. And Chevy and all the guys back at the shop, I think, I mean, I don't really know if this is good or not."
Dave: "Emotional words from an emotional man. Back to you, Bill."
Bill: "Thanks, Dave. And as we close out our final race on NBC, and since no one is watching, I'd just like to say that one of the top 10 Chase drivers stabbed someone for the mob back in the 90's. YOU have to look it up, because I don't have to."

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