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1.31.2006

Staubach Accused of Heisman Bias

Not long after offering his Heisman trophy to driver Terry Labonte if he wins the Daytona 500, team owner Roger Staubach was accused of holding a "Heisman Bias" that tainted the quality of the award.
"Its been well known that the Heisman only goes to quarterbacks, wide receivers, and running backs", explained ESPN.com commentator Ivan Maisel. "Well, Terry is the QUARTERBACK of his team. He's shown that he is WIDEly open to RECEIVING many different rides in 2006. And he's RUNNING BACK in the back of the field most of the time."
According to some, the bias doesn't just stop there.
"Its been years since a player from outside a major conference has even had a shot at the Heisman", argued ABC Sports commentator Dan Fouts. "Terry comes from Texas, a member of the Big 12. And I don't have to tell you that Hendrick Motorsports is the SEC of Nascar."
Staubach may also be wise to consider the possible negative implications of his promise: the "Heisman Jinx". As such, it states that athletes who win the trophy go on to have subpar pro careers. Though Labonte's career ended in 1998, he may still be vulnerable to the jinx.
ESPN Draft expert Mel Kiper Jr. explained, "Many former Heisman winners have gone on to marginal-at-best careers in the pros--Andre Ware, Eric Crouch, and Gino Toretta are just a few examples. The only person to escape a life of disappointment and regret from this group was, of course, O.J. Simpson."
In a related Hall of Fame Racing story, co-owner Troy Aikman asked fans to stop making Brokeback Mountain jokes...again.

1.30.2006

The Outside Groove 2006 Season Preview--Denouement

Well, that's it--the 2006 Nascar Nextel Together with Sprint Cup Preview. Though not EVERY driver was included, those left out have no legitimate chance of even making it to Daytona (sorry, Chad Chaffin fans, but its the truth). Last year, I got zero picks right. This year, I guarentee to DOUBLE that!

1.28.2006

The Outside Groove 2006 Season Preview--Part 14

40 through 42--onward came the field fillers!

40. 4 Scott Wimmer
The Case For: Uh…let me get back to you on that one.
The Case Against: Car could not POSSIBLY be any uglier.
Changes: Sure, some things have changed, but its like putting $500 rims on an ’89 Hyundai Excel.
Fun Fact: Yeah, he’s still whipped.

41. 78 Kenny Wallace/Jerry Robertson
The Case For: Hey Darrell—apparently two guys CAN race a car.
The Case Against: Busted beds, armoires with bullet holes, never knowing if your futon will make it through the night—yeah, life is tough on Furniture Row.
Changes: It’s a pretty much new team (note: new=bad).
Fun Fact: When asked about his chances this year, Jerry Robertson replied “Who the hell AM I, anyway?”

42. 61 Kevin Lepage
The Case For: Could have another magical run at Daytona.
The Case Against: Is missing the magical elixir—Petron.
Changes: A new number, as the health-club financed team was forced to sell the #66 to Haas in order to keep the new bench-press.
Fun Fact: Kevin remains the most influential Nascar driver from Vermont.

1.27.2006

The Outside Groove 2006 Season Preview--Part 13

37 through 39--Getting lower in the barrel

37. 32 Travis Kvapil
The Case For: Travis has finally escaped the tyranny of a megalomaniacal logistics expert running his life. He’ll rent the truck HE wants to rent, DAMNIT!!!
The Case Against: Car hasn’t contended since Ricky Craven was gainfully employed.
Changes: New driver for the Tide ride, immortalized in a joke by Mitch Hedberg (placing it along side Smokey the Bear and Koalas).
Fun Fact: Kvapil is a cool name to say.

38. 96 Terry Labonte/Tony Raines
The Case For: This combination combines the personality of Terry Labonte with the proven track record of Tony Raines
The Case Against: Anytime you follow in Terry Bradshaw’s footsteps, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
Changes: Everything about this team is new, except for the number. Long live David Green!
Fun Fact: Insert “Brokeback Mountain” joke here.

39. 7 Robby Gordon
The Case For: Is a lock to contend at Watkins Glen and Infineon.
The Case Against: Is a lock to DNQ everywhere else.
Changes: Not many, though tougher FCC regulations will have him referring to Michael Waltrip as a “piece of fecal matter” from now on.
Fun Fact: Robby’s hair has become sentient.

1.26.2006

The Outside Groove 2006 Season Preview--Part 12

34 through 36--onward came the hate mail!

34. 45 Kyle Petty
The Case For: Kyle is an upstanding citizen, a great guy, and one of the reasons I’m a Nascar fan today.
The Case Against: Unfortunately, that doesn’t translate to on-track success.
Changes: New sponsorship, with Wells Fargo being the only one confirmed. Rumored co-sponsors include Schwans, Vault, and Pony-Tail Care for Men.
Fun Fact: Kyle doesn’t even LIKE chicken, much less two.

35. 66 Jeff Green
The Case For: Best Buy signed on for 12 races, and if they do real good, they just might get the whole season! YIPEE!
The Case Against: Signing Best Buy meant being asked every day if they’d like a subscription to Sports Illustrated or Entertainment Weekly.
Changes: New number, new sponsor (sorta), and a new driver. But they still got the Bootie.
Fun Fact: Even Jeff Green is surprised that he has a ride this year.

36. 49 Brent Sherman
The Case For: None.
The Case Against: Everything.
Changes: Does it even matter?
Fun Fact: Nothing is fun about Chapter 11 bankruptcy proceedings (just ask Tim Beverly).

1.25.2006

The Outside Groove 2006 Season Preview--Part 11

31 through 33--Two oldsters and a newster

31. 07 Clint…Bowyer
The Case For: Bowyer finished second in Busch Series points in 2005—fully preparing him to become the next Mark Martin.
The Case Against: Nice try, Rich—we all know it’s the AOL car.
Changes: Has a new paint scheme with the number of wins this team should get on the hood.
Fun Fact: Robby Gordon still considers his ownership of the #7 to be a career highlight.

32. 14 Sterling Marlin
The Case For: Thanks to his new sponsor, Sterling now has plenty of connections to the world of organized crime.
The Case Against: The last time Sterling won, Dark Angel was considered a hot new show.
Changes: It’s a reformation of the old 10 team, a move that has confused just about everyone.
Fun Fact: 43% of Totally Nascar viewers still can’t get the image of a shirtless Sterling Marlin out of their heads.

33. 21 Ken Schrader
The Case For: Team has solid sponsorship for 19 races.
The Case Against: That solid sponsorship meant having to put a little girl’s face on the hood.
Changes: Lots—New driver, new sponsor, new crew chief. Motorcraft looks to return in a reduced role, though the actual plans have been shrouded in more secrecy than the new lead car for the 2007 line (hint: its not the Festiva).
Fun Fact: It is illegal to dislike Ken Schrader.

1.24.2006

The Outside Groove 2006 Season Preview--Part 10

28 through 30--Two Chevy's and a "Dodge"

28. 29 Kevin Harvick
The Case For: Gets all the Hershey’s Take 5’s he wants (come on Kevin, share the love).The Case Against: He’s Kevin Harvick (Hey, it was worth it).
Changes: Not many, which is NOT good.Fun Fact: Kevin still lists Stephen Colbert as one of his “celebrity friends”.

29. 22 Dave Blaney
The Case For: Has competent sponsorship, a guaranteed spot in the first five races, and a Nascar license.
The Case Against: Pretty much everything else.
Changes: Dave takes over this ride from Scott Wimmer, who left to become this decade’s Mike Skinner.Fun Fact: Dave used to use the pickup line, “Kiss my Blaney Stone”—until he was slapped with a sexual harassment suit.

30. 18 J.J. Yeley
The Case For: Joe Gibbs can focus ALL his attention on the race team now.
The Case Against: He’s J.J. Yeley.
Changes: Yeley comes in for Bobby Labonte, and a new all-green paint scheme was unveiled. Great, all he needs—more bad luck.Fun Fact: J.J. might wreck a lot, but its just because he’s…DY-NO-MITE!!!

1.23.2006

BREAKING NEWS--Toyota Awarded 2007 Championship

Shortly after announcing their plans to enter Nextel Cup racing in 2007, Nascar has officially awarded Toyota with the 2007 Championship trophy.
"Toyota is investing heavily in our sport, and I don't see how our existing brands can defeat them", explained Nascar Chairman Brian France. "Giving them the trophy now just saves us time--besides, it would've just taken up space in the storage closet."
Toyota is widely considered to be investing hundreds of millions of dollars into its Nextel Cup program. France noted this during his impromptu trophy presentation.
"Toyota is run the way a company SHOULD be run. Maybe it would be more of a competition if CERTAIN manufacturers spent more money on TESTING--Chevy, I'm looking in your direction."
The move leaves original manufacturers Ford, Chevy, and Mercedes to compete for the 2006 championship, the last one before Toyota officially takes over the sport. France seemed optimistic about the Japanese manufacturer's chances.
"With the championship in place, all Toyota has to do is find teams, drivers, sponsorship packages, and a fan base. Then they'll be set."

Previews return tomorrow

1.22.2006

The Outside Groove 2006 Season Preview--Part 9

25 through 27--Two soul-patches and another Hamlin

25. 1 Martin Truex Jr.
The Case For: Has lots in common with teammate Dale Earnhardt Jr.—Busch Series success, DEI background, dumb facial hair.The Case Against: Inherits car notes from noted Nascar superstar John Andretti.
Changes: It’s a brand-new team, but its not a brand new team.Fun Fact: Crew Chief Kevin “Bono” Manion was recently named on of Time Magazine’s “People of the Year”. That’s not him? Well, it should’ve been.

26. 10 Scott Riggs
The Case For: Now he’s a Hungry Driver.The Case Against: No longer gets free Big Bufords at Checker’s.
Changes: New team (Evernham), new sponsor (Stanley joins Valvoline), new part-owner with a cool name (James Rocco).Fun Fact: Scott has trouble getting through airport security…WITH THESE GUNS!!!

27. 11 Denny Hamlin
The Case For: Could be the best short-track racer since Rusty Wallace.The Case Against: Could be the best short-track racer since Rich Bickle.
Changes: Hamlin starts his first full season with the team, as does crew chief Mike Ford, currently with is 34th team.Fun Fact: Denny is the 59th Hamlin currently involved in Nascar.

1.21.2006

The Outside Groove 2006 Season Preview--Part 8

22 through 24--A former champ, a former champ contender, and someone else.

22. 43 Bobby Labonte
The Case For: Has the champion’s provisional, meaning that he is essentially guaranteed to make every race. This is commonly known as “pulling a DW”.
The Case Against: Car has a giant white glove on it.
Changes: New team, new sponsor, new crew chief, same hair cut.
Fun Fact: Robbie Loomis took the position with Petty only after he was promised that he’d never have to leave his office.

23. 42 Casey Mears
The Case For: Narrowly avoided going to a brand-new team without owners points.
The Case Against: The 42 team ain’t much better.
Changes: Its basically a shift, with the 41 and 42 teams staying as-is while the drivers change. They’re like pawns. Highly, highly paid pawns.
Fun Fact: FINALLY, he has that bulls eye off his back.

24. 31 Jeff Burton
The Case For: Well, he COULD conceivably win a race this season.The Case Against: He’s Jeff Burton, he’s driving for RCR, and this is NOT 1997.Changes: Prilosec comes on board as an associate sponsor, and Cingular continues to fight the man.Fun Fact: Jeff was once considered a championship contender. No, really.

1.20.2006

The Outside Groove 2006 Season Preview--Part 7

19 through 21--Ford, Chevy, "Dodge"

19. 17 Matt Kenseth
The Case For: Has a championship…or one of his robots does.
The Case Against: Has been sliding back ever since getting his championship. Damn you new points system, DAMN YOU!!!
Changes: R+L Carriers comes on board for a few races, giving us a car that resembles a Green Bay Packers fan on wheels.
Fun Fact: After signing USG as an associate sponsor, Matt attempted to tell everyone that he was “a US G!”. After Mark and Carl laughed at him, he gave it up.

20. 01 Joe Nemechek
The Case For: Has his sponsor, the Army, back for 2006.
The Case Against: In actuality, the Army may be stuck in MB2 Racing for years, with questions about its exit strategy.
Changes: Not much beyond the new garage, which has three separate rooms to house Boris Said’s hair.
Fun Fact: When you first come to the Cup Series, don’t have a lot of success winning poles right away. This could leave you with an ultimately ironic nickname for the rest of your career. Know how to market yourself. And knowing is half the battle.

21. 55 Michael Waltrip
The Case For: Is always good at Daytona…
The Case Against: …but is in a “Dodge”.
Changes: Has a brand-new team, but his sponsors followed him. I must ask, “why”?
Fun Fact: I've got your picture, I've got your picture
I'd like a million of you all round my cell
I want a doctor to take your picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
You've got me turning up and turning down
And turning in and turning 'round

1.19.2006

The Outside Groove 2006 Season Preview--Part 6

16 through 18--Two rookies and a weirdo

16. 2 Kurt Busch
The Case For: Thanks to his actions in Arizona last year, EVERYONE knows who Kurt Busch is.
The Case Against: He’s a big arrogant jerk.
Changes: Almost everything—new team, new crew, new sponsor. But at least now he won’t have to deal with Matt Kenseth always borrowing his pens.
Fun Fact: According to the AP, Kurt referred to his first test with Penske as “…our first beer together”. No word on whether he caught the irony or not.

17. 41 Reed Sorenson
The Case For: Had a phenomenal run in the Busch Series last year, plowing ahead while most other drivers were focusing on peeling their faces off.
The Case Against: The phrase “the 41 car is in contention to win” never sounds right.
Changes: Reed moves up, but the same stellar crew that came in 22nd in the points returns.
Fun Fact: Surprisingly, Sorenson doesn’t find his first name to be uppity.

18. 40 David Stremme
The Case For: We all know how well reality TV stars do once they go into the real world.
The Case Against: Since signing his new sponsor, can’t get that “Baby I’m Amazed” song out of his head.
Changes: Besides the new co-sponsor, also has a new crew chief. Additionally, no more glad-handling with SuperCuts execs!Fun Fact: Coors Light pushed for Stremme to replace Sterling Marlin in their push to appeal to a younger demographic. But don’t drink till you’re 21.

1.18.2006

The Outside Groove 2006 Season Preview--Part 5

13 through 16--Ford, Lincoln, and Edsel

13. 16 Greg Biffle
The Case For: Led Nascar in wins last season, which would have made him champion in the Greg Biffle Fan Club Points System (revised, November 2005).The Case Against: May get called up to active duty.
Changes: Still has a HECK of a lot of sponsors.
Fun Fact: Crew Chief Doug Richert won the Winston Cup Championship with Dale Earnhardt in 1980 at the age of 20. When I was 20, I won a writing contest for the college humor newspaper. Not the same thing, but you get the idea.

14. 6 Mark Martin
The Case For: His last year. Seriously. For real this time. He means it.The Case Against: Sugar Ray Leonard was considered a great boxer BEFORE his six retirements.
Changes: New sponsor is AAA, with special celebrity endorser The Fonz.
Fun Fact: And so, after over five years, this is the end of Nascar-Viagra jokes.

15. 88 Dale Jarrett
The Case For: Look at what Mark Martin and Rusty Wallace did last year.The Case Against: Look at what Morgan Shepherd and Derrike Cope did last year.
Changes: “Slugger” Labbe takes over as crew chief. Such a funny name, Labbe.Fun Fact: Dale is chased by barking dogs everywhere he goes.

1.17.2006

The Outside Groove 2006 Season Preview--Part 4

10 through 12--Dodge Boy, Dodge Boy, Hair Gel Boy.

10. 19 Jeremy Mayfield
The Case For: Finished here in 2004, and would’ve in 2005 if some cops in Phoenix had known who Kurt Busch was.
The Case Against: Plans to take his dogs along for races this year could cause weight and ballast issues for the car.
Changes: Chris Andrews takes over as the mysterious “Team Director”, a position that, as of now, includes car preparation, crew relations, sponsor commitments, black magic, and strategy.
Fun Fact: Clearly I remember, picking on the boy. Seemed a harmless little…

11. 9 Kasey Kahne
The Case For: Can finally focus on Cup duties, instead of on finding rides for Tyler “Dirt Pile” Walker.The Case Against: Has had one bad year, rendering him a complete failure in most “experts” eyes.
Changes: Besides the phantom “Team Director” position, none really. Oh, and his new paint scheme is quite ugly.
Fun Fact: In an attempt to be taken more seriously, Kasey has been “roughing up” his image over the off-season, including growing sideburns, speeding on the highway, and drinking 2% milk instead of skim (not whole—lets not go nuts here).

12. 26 Jamie McMurray
The Case For: Is the Lomas Brown of Nascar.The Case Against: Who’s Lomas Brown? The NFL player who set the record for most seasons played without making the playoffs.
Changes: New team, new sponsor, and a new number—the font, of which, was apparently chosen to be as hideous as possible.Fun Fact: Despite numerous commercial appearances, a bidding war between several owners, and status as one of Nascar’s “Young Guns”, McMurray has still only won one Cup race.

1.16.2006

The Outside Groove 2006 Season Preview--Part 3

7 through 9--Kid-Friendly sponsors like cereal, candy, and automotive financing.

7. 5 Kyle Busch
The Case For: Won last year’s ROTY award against a crowded field of Travis Kvapil and…Wayne Anderson?
The Case Against: Car still hideously ugly.
Changes: None really, though Kyle has reportedly spent the entire off-season trying to grow a goatee.
Fun Fact: Busch’s crew chief has the same last name, Gustafson, as William H. Macy’s character in “Fargo”. Don’t be surprised if Kyle winds up getting kidnapped and held for ransom by much-beloved character actor Steve Buscemi.

8. 38 Elliott Sadler
The Case For: Will be driving the new Ford Fusion, which should give Ford teams the same level of success Dodge teams had last year with the Charger.
The Case Against: Hermie won’t stop bugging him for a job.
Changes: Tommy Baldwin has his first full year as crew chief of the 38 team on tap. Baldwin, incidentally, has the name that sounds the most like a low-level mafia hitman.
Fun Fact: Even Elliott himself doesn’t realize how funny it was in that Stacker 2 commercial when he talked about meeting the “WWE Soo-pahh-stahhs”.

9. 25 Brian Vickers
The Case For: Is ready for a break-through season.
The Case Against: You could’ve said that last year.
Changes: Unfortunately, not much—which means that Garnier Frutis is coming back.
Fun Fact: Brian didn’t get the joke of his interview on The Daily Show.

1.15.2006

The Outside Groove Season Preview--Part 2

4 through 6--Three of Nascar's four manufacturers.

4. 12 Ryan Newman
The Case For: Finally got rid of that load Rusty Wallace. Finally got rid of that load Travis Kvapil
The Case Against: Finally picked up that load Kurt Busch.
Changes: Ryan’s been legally licensed to carry a firearm, in case someone dares make a mailman joke around him.
Fun Fact: Rusty Wallace? Pinko commie.

5. 99 Carl Edwards
The Case For: Mark Martin, Matt Kenseth, Kurt Busch, Greg Biffle.
The Case Against: Ted Musgrave, Kevin Lepage.
Changes: Office Depot comes on board full-time for 2006. This has forced Edwards to let down numerous race fans by informing them, “No, not the one with the guy who has the ‘fro—that’s Office MAX”.
Fun Fact: Going by pictures in Sport Illustrated’s Nascar Year in Review Issue, Carl has been trying to sell tickets…TO THE GUN SHOW!!!

6. 8 Dale Earnhardt Jr
The Case For: Due for a rebound, and doesn’t have to spend so much of his time doing commercials. For Michael Waltrip. And Shane Hmiel.
The Case Against: People have heard him wondering aloud what it would be like to go to the Wood Brothers, cut a country album, and be sponsored by Mello Yello.
Changes: Tony Eury, Jr. takes over as crew chief, having served as Junior’s car chief in the past. No one knows what a car chief does, but it sounds pretty important.
Fun Fact: The “wrist surgery” Junior had was just a cover-up for something much more sinister—hand surgery.

1.14.2006

The Outside Groove's 2006 Season Preview--It Begins

After two months of, well, almost nothing to talk about, The Outside Groove returns with our preview of the 2006 season. We'll look at the top contenders, the also-rans, the field fillers, and Scott Wimmer, showing three drivers each day. And now, with further ado, here it goes:

1 through 3--Three men, two teams, one car, zero Green brothers

1. 24 Jeff Gordon
The Case For: The only four-time champion still competing in Nextel Cup, unless you include that 67-year old rookie going by the name of Pichard Retty.
The Case Against: A terrible middle-stretch of the 2005 season saw him finish OUT of the top 10, causing dams to burst, babies to cry, and the sun to start revolving around the earth.
Changes: Georgia-Pacific comes on board as an associate sponsor, as does Nicorette. I smell special paint schemes!
Fun Fact: Jeff actually skipped the 2005 Nextel Cup ceremonies to attend the 2005 World Series in Chicago, where he was pelted with garbage.

2. 20 Tony Stewart
The Case For: He’s the defending champion, and hasn’t punched anyone lately.
The Case Against: Teammates now have a total of zero years of experience in Cup between them. Suddenly, Tony feels very much like Ivan Rodriguez.
Changes: None, though Tony’s crew chief has announced a new marketing platform: The Pinhead—Are We Having Fun Yet?
Fun Fact: Stewart’s plans to get in shape this off-season were derailed by one night of Ben & Jerry’s, followed by several hours of crying in shame.

3. 48 Jimmie Johnson
The Case For: Has come off two straight championship-caliber seasons where he narrowly fell short. And his car is GRAY.
The Case Against: Lack of emotion might signal a lack of that “killer instinct” that keeps him from taking the next step. And his car is GRAY.
Changes: None, it was a pretty boring off-season—and that’s the way he likes it.
Fun Fact: Crew Chief Chad Knaus is a sucker for hot girls, but insists on wearing a wool cap in the summertime (based on a true story).

The Funniest Thing I've Ever Seen

From Jayski/PRN:

Stremme feeling better: #40 Coors Light/Lonestar Dodge Driver David Stremme is feeling better after twisting his ankle and tearing all the ligaments in his right foot while using a leaf blower. The injury occured at his home near Charlotte several weeks before Christmas. Stremme said, “I’ve been fighting with the landscape company…they’ve not been showing up and they’ve been a pain in the butt. All my leaves were blowing across the street into my neighbor Joe Nemechek’s yard so I figured I needed to clean them up.” Stremme made sure he was okay to start the season by testing his foot riding go-carts. Stremme added, “I wish it had been my brake pedal foot instead of my gas pedal foot.”

OK...lets take a deep breath and examine:
--Who uses a leaf blower any more? Dave--its called a rake, its not expensive, and it won't wake up everyone in the neighborhood.

--It was several weeks before Christmas, and we're just finding out about it now? See, this is why NBS 24/7 needs to be spun off into its own network.

--I hear that the landscaping company employs a guy who "looks like Tim Fedewa, sounds like Tim Fedewa, but won't admit that he's Tim Fedewa."

--Joe Nemechek lives across the street from him? You just know that he was watching the whole thing unfold, sipping a beer, muttering to himself, "That boy ain't right."

--And by the way, its nice to know that you stopped the leaves from blowing...by using a LEAF BLOWER.

1.11.2006

KISS Challenges Scott Stapp to Battle of the Bands

Shortly after KISS was introduced as the new marketing partners for the IRL, the first shot was fired in a new musically-tinged rivalry with Nascar.
At the press conference, KISS lead singer Gene $immons openly challenged Scott Stapp, frontman for Nascar's 2005 marketing platform, to a "rock-off" of epic proportions.
"KISS has, for the longest time, been everything rock is about--fame, fortune, money, wealth. Now that we've partnered with the IRL, there's no telling where the sport can go. But we're not gonna let some Nascar loser stand in our way. Scott--I'm talkin' to you. One stage, two bands. Anytime, anyplace, KISS versus you."
Though stock car fans and open wheel fans have long engaged in a friendly rivalry, Simmons appears to have taken things to a whole new level. Flanked by several members of the KISS Army, as well as prototypes for the KISS Copter, Simmons let bandmate Paul Stanley elaborate.
"The IRL has had its share of problems, no doubt. But with KISS on their side, they're ready to take off. Now, Nascar might be more successful, and have more fans, but last time I checked, Creed didn't have an officially licensed coffin."
It remains to be seen if former Nascar partners Darius Rucker or Leann Rimes will get involved in the musical showdown. However, Simmons confirmed that they will have "...all seven of the IRL fans at the show."
When reached for comment at the New Mexico State Fair, Stapp simply replied, "KISS, I am ready to fight."

1.07.2006

Bang! Racing Sold for $65.44

In an auction held late Friday afternoon, former Nascar Craftsman Truck Series team Bang! Racing was sold for a final bid of $65.44, plus auction fees. The sale, in theory, puts to an end the long, pointless saga of former owner/crook Alex Meshkin.
The winning bidder wished to remain anonymous, and placed their bid by phone. The auction was held at the Howard County (Maryland) Circuit Court House, following a bankruptcy hearing on the team.
Bang! Racing was started by Meshkin, a college-aged day trader, as one of Toyota's first entries into Nascar's top three series. However, Meshkin soon ran the team into the ground, then through the ground, then through the ground some more, resting near the Earth's core.
Among the parties demanding reparations from Meshkin were Larry McReynolds, Travis Kvapil, Toyota Racing Development, several suppliers, Meshkin's landlords, and, for complicated reasons, Al Davis.
The winning bidder inherits an outstanding debt of approximately $450,000. However, they will inherit the team's assets--three computer disks, a stack of Line-X stickers, two lugnuts, and 50,000,000 shares of Nutzz.com stock.
Meshkin was unable to attend the trial, as his manager at Chipotle was unwilling to give him a Friday evening off.

1.06.2006

A Flurry of Activity

In the past few days Nascar has collectively jumped to life, spitting out some pretty interesting pieces of information. In case you missed it, lets take a look:

Ultra Motorsports, winners of the 2005 Nascar Craftsman Truck Series championship, suddenly shut down this week, leaving former champ Ted Musgrave without a ride. This comes as a result of Dodge pulling their support (and sponsorship) from the team, but look for a lazy sportswriter to blame it all on Toyota (oh, mark my words).

Kyle Petty announced a 12-race sponsorship with Wells Fargo, a western-based banking company. According to Jayski, Petty "...will run the full schedule in 2006, but still have some sponsorship openings available.", which is like saying that you rented a banquet hall for your "totally exclusive" New Years Eve party, but there's a few "select spots" open.

Hermie Sadler has started a wrestling federation. No, seriously.

Atlanta, Charlotte, and Daytona are the three finalists for the Nascar Hall of Fame. When asked why the other two cities missed the cut, experts agreed that Richmond had planning issues, questionable building plans, and a lack of local support, while Kansas City was Kansas City for crying out loud.

Robby Gordon, while competing in the grueling Dakar Rally, will be unable to test his car at Daytona next week. So, instead, he'll have one of the most experienced Nascar drivers in the world shake down his car--Paul Tracy.

And finally, Jay Robinson announced that his Busch Series team will be unsponsored for 2006, as they couldn't afford the paint needed to apply a sponsor's logos.

1.02.2006

One Year Anniversary!!!

Since 01-03-05, the launch of The Outside Groove...

--A new apartment

--3 jobs

--1 break-up

--1 car accident

--2 content partners

--4 interviews

--2 trips to Dover

--Way too many pieces of Extra Polar Ice gum

--contles spellingg errers

--and, most importantly, 1 major controversy

Thanks to everyone who's made this site possible:
--Doug, who gave me my start
--Lori, who gave me exposure (the good kind, not the type that gets you community service)
--Claire, who gave me validation
--Donnie and Dion, who gave me their time
--My parents, who gave me drive (and, in the beginning, an internet connection)
--The loud guy who lives next door to me, who gives me time to come up with ideas while I can't get to sleep
--My sister, who let me update from her dorm room
--Mitch Hedberg, still the funniest man I've ever seen
--and, of course, the readers, who make this site possible

But most of all, I want to thank Kurt Busch, for proving that no matter how wholesome you try to make a sport based on moonshine running, you can still screw up. And losers like me will be there to make fun of you.

1.01.2006

2006 Winter Movie Preview

With Nascar settling into a winter break before Speedweeks, the latest batch of Nascar-themed movies hit the theaters in the coming weeks. What will you be able to see during Hollywood's annual dumping ground? Lets take a look:

The Matador: A Spanish bullfighter, bored with the challenges before him in his native land, takes on the ultimate challenge--fighting cars in the bullring of Martinsville (contains graphic violence).

The New World: Toyota makes its maiden voyage to the "promised land" (Nextel Cup), but is met with skeptical natives, volatile politics, and the one thing that puts fear in the hearts of all pioneers--templates.

Glory Road: Ron Fellows and Boris Said team up to convince Nascar to sanction an all-road course series in 2007. Hilarity ensues.

Transamerica: Hauler drivers finally revolt against Brian France when a change to the schedule has an opening run of Daytona, California, Darlington, Las Vegas, Mexico City, Tokyo, and Neptune.

Why We Fight: A two-hour long debate between Ryan Newman and Rusty Wallace reveals the one thing they can agree on: Travis Kvapil is screwed.

Annapolis: Idealistic Nascar humor writer Mike Mackler takes a job in Maryland's capital, then has his spirit crushed. Based on a true story.

A Good Woman: Motorsports pioneer Janet Gutherie fights hard in the male-dominated world of Nascar to achieve her ultimate dream--to leave Nascar for open-wheel racing.

The Pink Panther: What happens when marketing goes too far? What happens when diecast takes over logic? What happens when a driver finally says NO to a special paint scheme?

Eight Below: Insert "Dale Jr. had a bad year in 2005" joke here.