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12.06.2006

JaysList moreso

I keep finding more interesting listings on JaysList, Jayski's new Craigslist-like website. Just look at what I found under the "Housing" section:

For Sale: Nascar Garage
If you love rock-bottom prices, then you already know about Competitive Edge Motorsports, which has been selling its inventory for longer than it was actually in business. Now we're letting go of the place where the magic happened--the garage. We've put the famed garage where Mike Garvey plied his trade up for $250,000 OBO. Now, friends, insiders, and contracts might tell you that we actually leased the place, but don't let them fool you! We bought it ourselves, and now we're looking to get money for it. Please ignore the mental patient who stands outside our building--he actually thinks he's a landlord!

Housing Swap: Ford for Camry
Frustrated driver looking to flip from the Blue Oval to the new guys. Currently in a long-term contract to an old hat, but cannot stand the location anymore. Refuses to start on cold mornings, smells when the air is on, and they keep claiming I have something called "OAD". Desperately looking to get into a foreign-made car--well, not foreign made per se, but you get the idea. To sweeten the deal I'll throw in 4000 lbs. of staplers at no cost to you.

Timeshare: Make Your Nascar Dream Come True!
Have you ever wanted to become a Nascar driver? Well in 2007 you CAN with Furniture Row Motorsports! Our ingenious plan of combining sponsorship with ownership allows us to sell off seat time for cheap! Plans available for as little as $5,000 a race! As an added bonus, you'll get Kenny Wallace at no extra cost to you! Use him as you want--driving lessons, laundry, odd jobs, you name it! Remember--you can't spell "Rut" without Furniture Row!!! (Warning: due to overriding tensions between warring factions, Furniture Row is unable to hire drivers contracted to Bed Boy Records).

Housing Wanted: Housing Wanted
Beloved former Nextel Cup driver looking for a place to stay. Not desperate--if I can put up with Haas, I can put up with anything. Most of my money was spent buying up most of Southside Virginia. Now I need a place to rest to avoid suffering from exposure. Cot, old rags, dumpster, you name it, I'll take it. Payment is not available in bill-form, but I will say "Polaris" for your amusement.

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