Coping with the Holidays

Earlier this year, I stumbled into this store on Cafe Press. Now, ignore for a second that a former Daytona 500 champion has the same marketing platform as ME for a second. I decided to take a look at some of these, uh, fine products, and here's what I could tell:

Large Poster: Sends a great message to your kids--work hard, catch the right break, and one day you could be stuck in a sport that passed you by a decade ago, desperately holding onto your past as it quickly slips away. Oh, and it also brightens up a room real nice.

Oval Sticker: Perfect for the Derrike Cope fan from the Outer Banks...oh sorry, I mean OBX.

Clock: "Hey, what time is it?" "Time for Derrike to get a new marketing manager."

Shirt Button: Goes great with my designs: Despain for Veep, Bobby/Naughton Jr. '08, and, of course, Ban the ButtPaste.

Magnet: The best way to secure your child's "Good Effort! B-" test score to the fridge.

Bumper Sticker: What Dale Earnhardt saw shortly after his tire shredded in 1990.