Johnson Shoots Elliott in Pork Rind Retaliation

The Nascar-related snack food wars escalated again yesterday, with Junior Johnson firing a .44 magnum at arch-rival--and former protege--Bill Elliott. Elliott remains in the hospital but is not seriously hurt.
The incident occurred in a Charlotte-area Albertson's store, where Johnson was unveiling a new line of fat-free pork cracklins. Elliott stormed into the event, referring to Johnson as "yesterday's news" and "as dried up as my jerky".
Johnson responded by firing his weapon--Johnson has been known to carry many guns since a scuffle broke out with Elliott's crew at this year's snack expo in Orlando. He was immediately tackled by store personel, who subdued the flailing Johnson to screams of "Awesome ain't nothing!" and "I'm gonna get that clown!"
Johnson was arrested and booked at the Jimmy Spencer Memorial Penitentary outside Mooresville. He was released after known Johnson hitman Hut Stricklin posted his $25,000 bail.
Elliott himself is no stranger to trouble. He spent a night in prison after slashing the tires on Johnson's "Pork Rind-Mobile" in late 2004. In addition, the recent attack on Johnson's factory by Mike Ford was believed to have been Elliott-backed.
With both food-magnates facing upcoming court-dates, it is believed that the heated pork rind war could calm down for a few weeks. However, everyone close to the situation knows that here, its not just the spices that are hot. Its the rivalries.