What Your Favorite Driver Says About You

Here's what you're really saying to the world when you say "_____ is my favorite driver":
(note: _____ is not a real driver, though ... once attempted a race at Riverside)

0--Mike Bliss--"I'm too good for dial-up. And I hate Jeff Gordon."

1--Martin Truex Jr.--"My older brother is a Junior fan."

2--Rusty Wallace--"Its Miller Time for my hot rod to get some respect."

4--Take your pick--"I used to like Ernie Irvan"

5--Kyle Busch--"I like elves. They're grrrreat!"

6--Mark Martin--"I am truly...truly BLESSED to have such a great driver as my favorite. And I have the ability to drown out sponsor jokes."

7--Robby Gordon--"I am Mike Mackler's dad."

8--Dale Earnhardt Jr.--"I think that NBC's coverage of Nascar is just fine."

9--Kasey Kahne--either, "My first car was a '69 Duster", or "Omigawd, Kasey is, like, soooo cute!"

10--Scott Riggs--"I prefer my driver to have a crew cut."

11--Triple threat--"I work for FedEx, and they're listening to my response."

12--Ryan Newman--"I have a college degree in Rusty-hating-ology."

15--Michael Waltrip--"I'm stupid."

16--Greg Biffle--"I enjoy the comedy of Bernie Mac and Rodney Dangerfield. I also think that Jennifer Wilbanks was innocent."

17--Matt Kenseth--"I'm a contractor."

18--Bobby Labonte--"I have the disposable income to collect 12 different special paint scheme 1:24's a year."

19--Jeremy Mayfield--"I'm a cop."

20--Tony Stewart--"Sorry, I don't sign autographs in the pits" (Oops--that's what your favorite driver says TO you)

21--Ricky Rudd--"Eh? Speak up, sonny, my hearin' ain't as good as it used ta be."

22--Scott Wimmer--"I enjoy staring at bulldozers in my spare time."

24--Jeff Gordon--"I became a Nascar fan in the middle-90's. I swear I'm not a front runner, I SWEAR!"

25--Brian Vickers--"I enjoy May-December relationships. And Jon Stewart sucks."

27--Kirk Shelmerdine--"I change my own oil."

29--Kevin Harvick--"It was him or Junior. Man, did I make the wrong choice."

31--Jeff Burton--"I like my rebels BLAND."

32--Bobby Hamilton Jr.--"I'm Bobby Hamilton Sr."

36--Boris Said--"I'm the kind of guy that watches MST3k."

37--Tony Raines--"I'm currently in rehab for online poker addiction."

38--Elliott Sadler--either "I'm a proud Virginian" or "Pretty car! Pretty car!"

40--Sterling Marlin--"Rocky top, rocky top!"

41--Casey Mears--"I used to be a CART fan."

42--Jamie McMurray--"I'm an 18 year old girl. No, seriously, not just online."

43--Jeff Green--"I'm a sadist."

44--Terry Labonte--"I can't let go of the past."

45--Kyle Petty--"I'm that cool guy who's also responsible--like an art teacher."

48--Jimmie Johnson--"I'm also a Jeff Gordon fan. I can't lose!"

49--Kenny Schrader--"I raced against Kenny at Peavly back in '98."

77--Travis Kvapil--"I work at a camera store." (note--based on a true story)

88--Dale Jarrett--"I have a lot of Citgo, Interstate Batteries and Ford Quality Care stuff in my basement."

89--Morgan Shepherd--"Winning is quite overrated."

91--Bill Elliott--"I enjoy Bill Elliott's Awesome Pork Rinds on a very deep level."

97--Kurt Busch--"I like Ford, but don't like popular drivers."

99--Carl Edwards--"I'm a really hot Olympic swimmer."

01--Joe Nemechek--"I know that Joe might only win one race a year. And knowing is half the battle."

07--Dave Blaney--"I'm sleeping one off."