Wizard of Oz...but for Odds

In honor of the most exciting race of the season (sorry Pocono), here's an expanded race odds section for the upcoming Sharpie 500:

EVEN--TNT will focus on the chance of a fight in the pits instead of a lead change.

2:1 You'll mistake an overhead shot of the track at night for a UFO.

5:2 An exciting green-white-checkered finish will be ruined by an also-ran blowing a tire.

7:1 Upon seeing a drop in cautions, Wally Dallenbach will comment that it "just hasn't been the same since Todd Bodine left."

10:1 Benny Parsons will spend the entire race waiting for a quiet moment to break his earth-shattering story--the difference between "loose" and "tight".

35:1 Someone will mention the idea of having a Tennessee-Virginia Tech football game in the infield. Again.

100:1 The entire pre-race will contain no references to Jeff Gordon's fight to make the Chase.

10,000:1 In celebration of his new Busch Series sponsor, Dale Earnhardt Jr. will perform "In the Navy" during pre-race ceremonies.