College Orientation

With University classes across this great nation of ours starting up this week, I thought that it was time to chime in with a lesson I know very well--how Nascar fans should adapt to the world of acadamia and alcohol. Here's some pointers I've picked up:

--If you tell someone you're a Nascar fan, expect one of these two responses: "Oh, my dad's really into that" or, "Oh, my uncle's really into that."

--It can be tough to wrestle away control of the tv for Sunday afternoons. I recommend a taser and some duct tape.

--If instead of going out and finding your true self, you're watching Busch Series qualifying on tape delay, its probably time for you to get out more.

--Expect everyone to be "a Tony Stewart fan, because Joe Gibbs is my hero" (DC-area colleges only).

--In case of a fire drill, you don't need to go back to class. Scott Riggs will fill in for you.

--For the ladies--if you're a college-aged girl who's into Nascar, why aren't you dating me?

--And finally, just remember that, with a great college education, you can be the next Chad Little.