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Real Racing...Fake News...Updated Nightly

11.01.2006

You're Smooth...You're Silk-ay...FINE-INE-INED!

Nascar handed down its punishment to Robby Gordon today for throwing a piece of foam onto the track at Atlanta. Here's some highlights from the penalty:

--Though understandably pissed off, Jeff Burton is explicitly forbidden from any form of retribution. However, RCR HAS entered Ward Burton in a fourth car for Texas. "Ahm gunna git 'im brutha."

--Robby must serve 50 hours community service at the charity of Richard Childress's choice. Hope you like stompin' grapes, Robby.

--Robby was originally fined $15,000 for his actions. However, as an owner-driver, he was unable to pay the fine. As a result, Mike Helton decreed that he become Jeff Burton's butler.

--Robby is fined 50 driver (and owner) points, seriously damaging his title chances for 2006.

--Robby will have his entire car stripped of all foam-based products for the rest of the season. Luckily DuPont has invented a brand-new metal racing seat that NEVER heats up beyond 200 degrees.

--The next time Robby gets in trouble, he'll be given the worst punishment Nascar offers--a cross-country plane ride sitting next to Kenny Wallace.

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