Danica Patrick Star

Lately, everyone's been talking about one thing--Kurt Busch's wedding being moved due to endangered tiger beetles. But some other people are talking about why Danica Patrick is thinking about leaving Rahal-Letterman for another team, possibly even for Nascar. It might have something to with her most recent contract negotiations:

Danica: "I'm looking forward to signing an extention--all I really need is a guarentee that the team is committed to improving."

Dave: "Say, Danica, you ever watch those NFL Films shows? They got that guy on the Raiders, Alan Faneca--Danica Faneca. Danica Faneca. Danica Faneca. Danica Faneca. You hear that Bob?

Bobby Rahal: "Yeah, Fanaca, HAAAAAAAH."

Dave: "So, uh, what are you here to talk about today?"

Danica: "I already told you--I want a contract ext--"

Dave: "Wait, I think its time for Stagehands Gone Wild--hit it Bob!"

Bob: (playing piano) "We got some stagehands--and they're all normal. But sometimes now and then, these stagehand, they go wild!"

Dave: "Today we got our old buddy Biff Henderson--Biff, what are you gonna do for us today?"

Biff: (long pause, looking into camera while tourists in audience giggle) "...poop."

Bob: Bob: (playing piano) "We got some stagehands--and they're all normal. But sometimes now and then, these stagehand, they go wild!"

Danica: "Dave, I think we really need to--"

Dave: "Hold that thought, its time for tonight's Top Ten List."

(long, drawn out graphics squence)

Dave: "Faneca. Faneca. Hehe. OK, Top Ten from our home office in Wahoo Nebraska, Top Ten reasons while Danica Patrick shouldn't go to Nascar:
10. The fans have less teeth than hockey players"

Bob: "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

Dave: "9. George Bush wants to be her crew chief. You hear that Bob? Crew Chief."

Bob: "Yeah, crew chief, yeah."

Dave: "Hehe! HAHA! HA-(coughing fit)"

Danica: "Screw it, Mach 1 is better than this team."