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3.11.2006

Soylent Corporation to Sponsor Jeff Green

Bridging the gap created by Best Buy's partial-season sponsorship, the Soylent Corporation has agreed to sponsor Jeff Green for the balance of the year.
"We see this as the best way to promote our products", explained Soylent CEO William Simonson. "Besides, who better to promote our newest product but a Green brother?"
Simonson was referring to his company's newest product on the market, Soylent Green. Believed to be a composite of soy beans and lentils, the synthetic food is extremely inexpensive and rationed out by the US government.
"Once they see Jeff on the track, the other drivers will be thinking to themselves, 'Make room! Make room!'. We expect nothing but the best from Green--I mean, why should he be a Thorn in our side?"
Though of a somewhat mysterious nature, Nascar has welcomed in the Soylent Corporation with open arms. They have already become "The Official Synthetic Food of Nascar", and have been passing out product samples at California and Las Vegas.
"I'm proud as heck to have Soylent Green on board", said a visibly happy Jeff Green. "I mean, what would there be to worry about?"

1 Comments:

At 6:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jeff Green is an amazing driver....just look at his stats. Last year he finished an unbelievable 15 of 36 races on the lead lap. For his career he has finished on the lead lap 53 times. Thats just over 25%!! He has racked up 5 top-fives and 11 top-tens in 200 career starts. Way to go Jeff!

jC...

 

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