Nascar's OTHER Theme Park

In a surprise announcement, Jimmie Johnson and Rick Hendrick have announced that they've teamed up to create Nascar's next great theme park. The complex, expected to be completed by 2008, will let its patrons see what its like to run Nascar's second-most successful team. The name?
The Jimmie-Hendrick's Experience
What will you be able to do at The Jimmie-Hendrick's Experience? Lets take a look:

Purple Haze: Can YOU pass Jamie McMurray without getting distracted by his hideous car?

Hey Joe: Run out of testing dates before the chase? Don't worry--just ask one of your "satellite teams" for support. Mr. Nemechek's on speed dial.

Fire: A four-hour long science film on how DuPont is working to eliminate the dangers of fire in racing through bio-polymers...

Are You Experienced: Then you MIGHT be getting a ride for the Hendrick Busch Series team!

EXP: Think Jeff Gordon's the greatest racer out there? Lets see how he does in a butt-ugly Ford.

One Rainy Wish: You get the chance to play tape-ball during a simulated rain delay with the crew of the DuPont Chevy!

Crosstown Traffic: Try to drive 10 feet outside a track 2 hours before race time.

Voodoo Chile: Dye your beard black, play air-guitar on your championship belt, and become more hated the older you get. Its the opposite of Darrell Waltrip!*

Long Hot Summer Night: Just TRY to stay awake through the entire Coca-Cola 600 after working a 10-hour shift--WE DARE YOU!



* If you get this joke, you watched WAY too much WCW in the 90's