The Top 10 Drivers...In Limericks

This week’s points leader is Matt
Darrell says he’s quite the fast cat
He thinks his turn’s up
For one more Nextel Cup
He’s in first—but the finish ain’t pat

Your 48 makes us go “Wow!”
And your finishes make us go “How?”
Yes, the winning’s the proof
But if you want the truth
We thought you’d have been champ by now

Usually Kevin sees red
(and we thought his career was quite dead)
Now he’s back for September
But I’ll always remember,
“Man, I’ll punch him in his skinny ol’ head!”*

*--Spoken by Hall of Fame inductee Charles Barkley

Hamlin is Fedex’s guy
And you’d better believe he can fly
He just says “What the heck,
I’ll score if I don’t wreck”
Maybe J.J. should give it a try

Junior is back in the Chase
And think--if he comes in first place…
There’ll be chicks everywhere
And the ladies won’t care
If his bodyguards spray ‘em with mace

Mark Martin couldn’t get higher
So who cares if he’s kind of a liar
He claimed he was done
So to Todd, sorry son
But Mark’s too excited to retire

Good ol’ Jeff Burton is BACK!
So what if he can’t lead the pack?
With an experienced star
Racing for RCRMaybe they’ll paint the car black

Jeff Gordon’s had a strange life
And yes—sometimes he’s had some strife
But we shall not cry
‘Cause we just say “My,
Have you taken a look at his wife?”

The 9 car is in, finally
But no matter what finish will be
If the girl is a teen
And she likes her men clean
She’ll always yell out “Hey Kaaaay-Seeee!”

Tony Stewart’s lookin’ orange
After racing at Rich—aw, crap.