Host of "Boardwalk and Baseball" Ya Know

With ESPN reaquiring the rights to Nascar, expect to see coverage across the board (sorry, competitive darts). However, what will happen when Chris "You're with me, leather" Berman has to recap races? That's where I come in. Behold--the Nascar Berman Nicknames:

01--Joe Nemechek-mate
07--Clint Chef Bowyer-dee
1--Martin Girl You Know Its Truex (Tom Jackson: Ooh, ooh, ooh, I love you)
2--Kurt Busch having a gay old time
5--Kyle Head for the mountains of Busch
6--Mark Martin Lawrence (Tom Jackson: You so cray-zay)
7--Robby Al Gore-don
8--Dale Earn-Heart of Gold Jr.
9--Dave Kasey Des-Kahne
10--Scott Riggs and Murtaugh
11--Denny McLaine Hamlin
12--Ryan Lorraine Newman and the Not Ready for Daytona Players
14--Fly away, little Sterling! Marlin
16--Greg Getcher meathooks off her Biff!le
17--Matt Barbie and Ken-seth
18--J.J. (with Tom:) DY-NO-MITE! Yeley
19--Elliott Adam Sadler shoo ba doo ba doobee dooba doobee
20--Tony Beef Stew-art
21--Ken Schrader-ade, is he in you?
22--David Blaine-y, levitating over the field
24--Jeff Gordon Jump
25--Brian Michael Vick-ers
26--Jamie Fred McMurray
29--Kevin har-dee-har-Harvick
31--Jeff Ward Burton
32--Travis Kva-Jagged Little Pill (Tom Jackson: You-ooo-ooo oughta know)
38--David Gilli-Land of the Lost
40--David cool as a mountain Stremme
41--Reed Son of Sorenson
42--Casey and the Sunshine Mears
43--Bobby Labon-tea for two (Tom Jackson: and two for tea)
45--Kyle Tom Petty
48--Jimmie Johnson, his hair looks great
49--Mike SKINNNNNER!
55--Michael Waltrip FROM! (Tom Jackson: outside Luvul!)
60--Boris that's what I Said
66--Jeff Its Not Easy...Bein Green
78--Kenny William Wallace
88--Dale Earn--I mean, Jarrett
96--Tony Blame it On the Raines
99--Carl Winslow Edwards (Tom Jackson: Go Home Go Home GO HOME!)