Support This Site

Real Racing...Fake News...Updated Nightly

10.19.2006

Bush League

A transcript of George W. Bush's speech delivered Thursday from the Victory Junction Gang Camp:

"Good afternoon. Today I came down to South Carolina to visit with the Petty family and their wonderful camp for sick kids. I would like to thank Patti, Richard, Linda, and that guy with the ponytail for their great hospitality. Furthermore I would like to thank the local media for showing up, as this further cemets my status as just 'one of the guys', just a regular ol' Nascar fan who loves nothing more than to fly down in my private jet to visit with some drivers. I also got the chance to meet with Jimmy Johnson, and teased him about his hair. I guess he didn't get the joke.
"The reason why I am here today is to examine what a camp like this can do for the sick kids. And today, walking among the campers, counselors, and all these great people of Virginia, I am amazed by the results. That is why I am immediately cutting all funding to all childrens hospitals. It is obvious that they do not need the funding, since drivers will do such a good job of fundraising themselves. Furthermore, every sick kid I saw today had a bright smile and a spring in their step. Heck--they didn't even look sick! That's why all of the hospital funding will be going straight to summer camps. Apparently nothing cures a terminal disease quite like leathercraft.
"Citizens of Georgia, we have won the war on sick kids. I am unafraid to say that in the field of childhood diseases, Mission Accomplished. I guess you could say that we have made a Victory at this Junction...thanks to Gangs who hang out in Camps.
"Thank you, and now I'm off to attend a deportation hearing for illegal alien Marcus Ambrose."

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home