St. Patrick's Day Special

Note: After hearing Kyle Petty's "Brokeback Mountain" joke to Darrell Waltrip during qualifying, I felt it was necessary to take some time and some Guiness. Unfortunately, even that didn't do the trick. So instead, here's a cliched St. Patrick's Day article. Enjoy!

--Twice each year, drivers go to Michigan International Speedway in the IRISH HILLS. Because when you think of Nascar, race fans, and the Irish, you always think of Brooklyn.

--ISC has tried to claim that moving Rockingham's racing dates to "cookie-cutter" race tracks is better for the fans. But the true fans know that a cookie-cutter track is nothing but a SHAM-ROCK.

--Short-track New River Valley Speedway in DUBLIN, Virgina, hosted four Busch Series races from 1989-1992. Now imagine Ward Burton saying "New River Valley".

--Perhaps the driver best-named for the Emerald Isle is Jeff GREEN who...wait...SOYLENT GREEN IS MADE OUT OF PEOPLE! SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!