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Real Racing...Fake News...Updated Nightly

2.17.2006

While I Was Out

Here's what I missed while I was recovering from Wally's gunshots:

--Chad Knaus was thrown off the track for trying to illegally raise the back of Jimmie Johnson's car. Then, rumors began to swirl that Knaus might have been trying to get himself fired. Don't be surprised if you see Body Suit Man streaking across the frontstretch on Sunday.

--Kirk Shelmerdine made the Daytona 500, apparently saving his team from bankruptcy in the process. Expect to see Kirk standing in front of his car this afternoon, telling a group of repo men that his team is "...NOT for sale."

--Subway has increased its sponsorship of Greg Biffle for 2006. As a result, Greg's car will now be filled with 200 pounds shredded lettuce and three slices of ham.

--Its come out that John Andretti is running for the Busch Series' Rookie of the Year award. This is really more sad than it is annoying--do we really want to see young guys like Burney Lamar and Mark Macfarland hanging out, chatting it up, then have John walk over and awkwardly try to fit in? I'll let you picture that one for yourself.

--David Green has clarified his future plans, stating that he is not necessarily retiring after 2007. This surprised most of the media, as they thought that he'd retired in 1997.

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