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Real Racing...Fake News...Updated Nightly

2.11.2006

Wally's World...of Terror!

Taped at Daytona International Speedway Earlier Today:

Bill Weber: "For this year's inaugural edition of 'Wally's World', Wally got a special guest to ride along at the World Center of Racing--the 2004 Winner of the Most School Spirit Award for University of Maryland Resident Assistants, South Campus."

Uncredited Singers: "Nascar...Excellent...Wally's World...Wally's World...Wally's World"

Wally Dallenbach (on track): "Today we have a very SPECIAL guest in the passenger seat: A man who's been making fun of me for years now, Mike Mackler. Mike, how are ya?

Me (duct-taped to the seat): "Mmmm! MMMPH! MMM!"

Wally: "Looks like Mike's a little 'tied up' at the moment--hey, lets take this car to the outside wall, shall we?"

Me: "MMMMPH! MMMM-AHHHH! HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME! AHHH HE'S GOT A GUN!"

Wally (waving gun): "Hey, what was that you said about me? I'm a poor man's Scott Pruett? Or was it Nascar's very own Tom Tolbert? Huh? Which one was it?!?"

Me: "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"

Wally: "Not so tough when you're out from behind you're computer screen, are ya? Let's pull this car into the pits, which is currently swarming with Federal Agents. Well, better 'dispose' of the evidence."

Me: "What? OH GOD NO--"

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Bill Weber: "Mike Mackler was shot at 10:30am eastern standard time. And you don't have to look it up, because we just did. Coming up next, Benny takes a look at the lighter side of crew chiefs."



No, I'm not actually dead. But I am taking a few days off this week. I'll be back no later than Friday with the late-breaking news you need to know--like who IS Brent Sherman's sponsor?

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