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2.09.2006

Why Did Bill Davis Lose the Lawsuit?

Today, word got out that Bill Davis had lost his counterclaim against DaimlerChrysler in their breach of contract lawsuit. Why did this happen?

--This is the guy who let Jeff Gordon get away. Then he let Bobby Labonte get away. What makes you think he knows how to win a lawsuit?

--Dodge put all their resources into winning this case, instead of into making cars that don't suck.

--The judge invoked an obscure legal motion that causes any litigants who look like a high school physics teacher to automatically lose.

--Bill's star witness? Michael Waltrip. And it's probably not good when your witness begins every answer by thanking Domino's.

--His insistence on showing sponsor solidarity resulted in him being two hours late for opening statements--turns out a bulldozer tops out at 20 mph.

--Davis's constant insistance on calling the plaintiffs "krauts" didn't endear him any to the jury.

--Toyota was unable to provide any legal support, as they were too busy planning out how to destroy the world...I mean, doing wind tunnel tests...on how to destroy the world.

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