From the Network That Gave Us the Shoe Cam...

The Outside Groove owes alot of its spirit and style to Bill Simmons, aka "The Sports Guy" from ESPN's Page 2. When I'm not boycotting him for his anti-Cal Ripken remarks, I read some of the best sports humor writing around. The following exchange comes from his latest "Mailbag" article:

Q: In your "Midseason Form" column, you write about how your wife hates Mariah Carey and that most women do. Try this: Tell your wife that you find Jennifer Love Hewitt attractive and you enjoy her acting. You may even be able to squeeze a whole column out of her reaction and the pure bile that women spit when hearing her name. Ask any sisters, sisters-in-law, other female friends; they all hate her universally, and it is unexplainable.--Jack, Cleveland

Bill Simmons: Just for the record, I tried this with the Sports Gal this week ... she reacted like George Brett in the Pine Tar Game. Highest of high comedy. Somebody needs to film the pilot, "Everybody Hates Jennifer."

I laughed harder than I can remember after reading that passage--mostly because its 100% true--I've tried it myself, before this article was published. But its not just the fairer sex that's immune to such reactions--here's the sure-fire comments to make my blood boil:

--Great article, Mack--Mike Smith did a cartoon just like that 2 years ago

--When I think of the quiet, reserved veteran, I think of Rusty Wallace

--You write the articles on drag racing, right?

--IRL is SO much better than Nascar

--Michael Waltrip is SO funny!

--We the jury find the defendant, Michael Mackler, guilty of stalking Douglas Ladd

--Racing's not a real sport like poker or ballroom dancing

--Hey, you--get out of Miss Munter's garden!