Dale Jarrett Explains His Decision

After today's non-pork rind-related news conference, Dale Jarrett sat down with The Outside Groove to explain why he was leaving Ford after years of allegiance:

"You'd think this would be a difficult decision, but it really wasn't. I don't know why, but it never hit me until last week. I realized...I WAS DRIVING A FORD. Can you believe that?!? Fords are the biggest pieces of junk on the road--or should i say ON THE SHOULDER, broken down. Its bad enough that I have to drive a brown car--driving anything from the Ford Motor Company is just too stupid.
"I mean, have YOU ever driven one of those pieces of crap? Whenever I fired up the engine on a cold morning, the airflow always smelled funny. My power seats stopped working after 10,000 miles. And can you BELIEVE the stuff they had me RUN?!? First, it was the Thunderbird, which was a really cool car...in 1966! Then, they move on the Taurus. What am I, a Xerox salesman? That thing came in two colors--beige and dull. Finally they put me in a Fusion. Fusion--what kind of dumb name is that? 'Oooh--look at those metal bars across the grill--that REALLY makes it a winner!'
"Toyota just happened into my life, but I could've gone to any other manufacturer. Well, not GM since they're going Chapter 11 next month...and not DaimlerChrysler, since they're owned by Nazis. But either of them would be better than Found On Road Dead. Or should I say, Fix Or Repair Daily. First On Race Day? Give me a freakin' break."