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5.03.2006

Jeff Gordon Admits to Gambling Problem

Coming off the admissions of John Daly and Charles Barkley, Jeff Gordon has admitted that he, too, has a gambling problem.
"It started so innocently", said Gordon in an exclusive interview with The Outside Groove. "I used to bet Ray dinner on which trailer would get to the track first. Next thing I knew, we wagered WHOLE DOLLARS on qualifying draws."
Gordon was willing to divulge his entire record of losses: "Things went downhill through the years. One day in 2001, I lost my ham sandwich after I bet Kenny Schrader that I could beat him in a footrace. I went a whole afternoon without food because of my stupid habit.
"I was always chasing my losses--I should've known I had a problem when I went double or nothing with Terry Labonte on our $5 Daytona bet. I was more animal than human!"
Gordon didn't realize that he'd hit rock bottom, however, until earlier this year.
"My real wake-up call came after I lost $50 on the Super Bowl to Jimmie. That was almost 0.000001% of my salary! What was I thinking?!?"
Gordon went on to say that he has been visiting the CCNY Institute for Sports Gambling on a regular basis to keep his habit under control. With time, and some hard work, he might just pull through.
"I'm gonna beat this thing--you can bet on it. Ah, damnit."

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