Commercials I Remember

When you wake up at 3am to go to work, and then stay up till 9pm, your mind begins to wander...to thoughts of the past (and arson). To quell my pyromanical fantasies, here's some Nascar commercials I'll always remember:

Terry Labonte & Ricky Craven, Quaker State: Pretty standard commercial in which Terry tells Ricky to stay behind him and use Quaker State...because if he stays behind him, he can't win! Get it?!? This commercial always stuck with me for one simple reason--Terry's line "You-you take this oil". Terry's stammering leads to two possibilities--that his "stutter step" was the best take they had, or he follows the Sinatra method of acting ("one take and I'm done, Dino").

Mark Martin, Hardee's: Once again, pretty standard, with Mark driving off a generic track (Caraway, perhaps?), going through the drive-thru, eating his burger outside his car, then returning to the track. What makes this one stand out is the total lack of dialogue, complimented by the "squishy-crunchy" Foley sound effects of Mark eating his burger. Mark also has a strangely contemplative look on his face as he eats, perhaps wondering, "Does the soul superceed the natural state, thus leaving those on the human plane unfulfilled", or "If all is art, does this make the Dadaist movement irrelevant, which would make it, in effect, Dada", or "Damnit, they forgot the napkins AGAIN".

Richard Petty, KFC: The King's in a tough race, only to reveal that its in a simulator in a KFC. Besides wondering why anyone would like to touch a video game covered in grease, this commercial also features the classic line, from Richard to a kid "I'm retired...UH-GEEIN". Quite possibly the King's most memorable quote, besides that time on Real Sports where he said "colored".

Any commercial with a team owner in it: From Richard Childress showing off his Featherlite Pimp Pad, to Rick Hendrick explaining why he's declared a holy war on friction, you gotta have a HUGE ego to think anyone would want to see the driver's boss.

Dancing Guys, Nextel: Doesn't have any drivers, but was shown incessantly during races, and featured a character with my name! "And nobody knows where Mackler is!"