Public Service Announcement

"Hello, I'm Kyle Busch, driver of the #5 Kellogg's Chevy Monte Carlo SS...that's SS, remember that. You probably know me from my recent 'Focus on Driving Campain', a multi-facted program aiming to elminate the danger of Michael Waltrip. However, I'm here to talk to you today about something far more important than safety--personal responsibility to one's cultural background.
"Recently, I was pulled over by a police officer for squealing my tires near a Richmond, Virginia KFC. Now, I knew from experience to treat our law enforcement officers with the utmost respect, KURT. However, what I had already done was damage enough. You see, I am, by birth, a person from the South (yes, Las Vegas counts as the South). My involvement in Nascar only strengthens my bond to my roots. And that's why I should've had eternal vigilance before doing what I did--giving in to cultural stereotypes.
"I mean, come on--a young guy, squealing his tires with his friends at night? Outside a KFC?!? How much more stereotypical can you get than that. Well, I guess I could've been listening to rap that was popular 4 years ago and had a horrible paint job on my rental car, but that's beside the point. What I did that night was re-enforce the negative stereotype of the redneck wannabe. Luckily, I wasn't driving an orange Dodge Neon, and I didn't use my iced tea to 'pour one on the curb'.
"I hope that you will learn from my mistakes--don't give the northern elite another excuse to mock us (Ryan Newman, I'm looking in your direction). Thank you and good night."