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Real Racing...Fake News...Updated Nightly

4.11.2006

Entertainment and Sports Programming Network...TO THE XTREEEME!

In a recent interview, ESPN head honcho George Bodenheimer said that, in reference to Nascar, "...We're looking to take this property and blow it out, if you will." Here's some of the ways ESPN is planning to blow Nascar out, if you will:

--You know that great side-by-side coverage they use for IRL? The technology that doesn't make you miss parts of the race for commercials? Not gonna happen in Nascar!

--Bristol, Tennessee moved to Bristol, Connecticut.

--Hot, sexy sideline reporters like Ed Werder.

--"Ski Chip" distributed to cable subscribers to block out Jayski's television appearences.

--Stuart Scott to be featured in Nascar commercial: "Nascar, how you have you got it...BOO-YAH! HOLLA! I...I don't feel right about this."

--Got a rain-delayed race? Not gonna end till 2am or later? Boys, bring in Steve Levy.

--Veteran IRL driver to be brought in to provide color commentary.

--Really, REALLY creepy interview of Erin Crocker by Brent Musberger..."I think applications to the Betty Crocker cooking school just went up".

--Four words that every Nascar fan has waited to hear: THE DOCTOR IS BACK.

1 Comments:

At 10:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jerry's still alive?

-Steve

 

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