The Car of Tomorrow...Today

Nascar has spent a considerable amount of time at Michigan this week testing its new "Car of Tomorrow". Lets see some of the new features:

--Rear spoiler replaced by wing, which emits bad, mass-produced white-boy rap.

--Contains a bigger "greenhouse", the part of the car where Shane Hmeil grew his, um, "medicine".

--Wider. And as we all know, Wider is Better! Well, until your manufacturer pulls out due to lagging sales.

--Hydraulics, for planned 2008 street-course race in South-Central Darlington.

--To save time, the formerly blank hood (usually only visible when a team doesn't have a sponsor), will be painted with the Lucas Oil logo.

--A chassis that makes Lola look like Panos!

--Comes factory-stocked with no fewer than two Sauter brothers.