Nascar Pledges to Increase Awkwardness of Awards Banquet

Continuing a trend stretching back years, Nascar has reaffirmed its longtime pledge to put on the most awkward, cringe-worthy awards show in all of sports and entertainment.
"We feel that our drivers, coupled with emcee's with no experience, make for quite the awkward situation", Nascar head honcho Brian France explained. "When you see Ryan Newman thanking his wife, and 'signing her to a long-term extension', we guarentee that you will squirm in your couch."
Experts agree that while Nascar lends itself to an awkward awards banquet, topping last year's ceremony will be tough. However, France offered that he is up to the challenge.
"Last year, we had Scott Stapp. This year, we'll have Joey McIntire. Last year, we had Bill Weber as the show's announcer. This year, he'll be drunk. We WILL exceed last year's awkwardness, and that's a guarentee."
Nascar has risen to the occasion before. Many believed that it would be impossible to surpass the bizarreness of Jeff Gordon's weepy speech in 1995. However, Dale Jarrett rose to the occasion with his remark that "The Commodores are playing at our party" in 1999. And TNT earned a legendary place in awkward lore by replaying the first 10 minutes of the 2003 awards show.
One surprise will be the host--Jay Mohr was not retained due to his ability to keep the show moving at a comforable pace. France would not say who the replacement is, but did hint that "...we are in negotiations with a certain former star of Family Matters."