Sears Point/Sonoma/Infineon/Boringville "News" and Notes

--Several top teams--including the FedEx car and the Tide ride--are replacing their usual drivers with hired guns for this week's race. Why don't they do this for the restrictor plate races too? Because that would make SENSE, silly!
--Sears Point used to catch flak for being an under-maintained facility. However, after Bruton Smith bought it, he renovated the wazoo out of the track. Now, its only criticized for being such a freaking boring race.
--If Robby Gordon fails to qualify for this race, he'll drive a Menards screwdriver into his skull.
--Following in the tradition of "The Glen", this track is now known as "The 'On".
--I'll be missing this race to go to a party for my dad, proving that there is such a thing as great timing.
ODDS:
3:2 Kenny Wallace's laugh will measure a 2.3 on the richter scale
4:1 Ron Fellows will refer to Tony Stewart as a hoser.
50:1 Benny Parsons, when introduced for the 2nd half of the season, will avoid using "wow" and "unBElievable" in his spiel.