Headlines from Hell--The Return

--Gary Bettman Hired as Nascar Consultant

--Fontana to Host Nascar Slam Dunk Contest

--Ward Burton Hired as Announcer

--Restrictor Plates Institued at Watkins Glen, Infineon

--Terry Labonte's Souvenier Trailer not Selling to Anyone Under 41

--Kirk Shelmerdine Sells Dignity on Ebay

--Merger Results in Sprextel Cup

and finally...
--Ricky Rudd Achieves Immortality; Will Never Retire