Calvin Speaks

Hello, I am Calvin. Most of you probably know me as the co-star of the popular 90s comic strip, "Calvin and Hobbes". However, the readers of this website might know me better as the star of various "piss-on" stickers, featuring me urinating on the numbers of various driver numbers. I'm here today to set the record straight.
The story begins in my bedroom, where I was using my duplicator machine to get out of cleaning my room. Wouldn't you know it, but the thing went haywire and produced about 5,000 clones of yours truly. Rather than see them starve to death (and with my transmogrifier gun in for repairs), I followed the advice of my closest friend, Hobbes. Unfortunately tigers aren't the best business advisors, and he suggested that I rent my copies out to a group of signmakers.
Well, one thing leads to another, and soon you have every guy with a vinyl machine pumping my duplicates full of sping water. All that was left to do is place a 3 or a 24 next to them, and viola--history was made.
Did I support this action? Well, that's something I still can't decide on. My personage brought joy to millions of rednecks, while depriving my moody creator of millions of dollars in licensing revenues. 'Course, he wouldn't allow me to work outside of the strip anyways, further compounding the problem. I've decided that my fame (or imfamy, as it would be), is most likely a mixed blessing.
Today I'm working as a ballistics expert for Lockheed Martin, and keep up a steady hobby of palientology (hey, some things never change). Its been great to get this off my chest. Now I'm off to lunch with Zippy.