Wisconsin Legalizes Hunting of Junior Fans

In an attempt to curb their exploding population, the Wisconsin legislature approved a measure legalizing the hunting of Dale Earnhardt Jr. fans on Wednesday. This comes just days after an attempt to legalize the hunting of feral cats was shot down.
"The cats were one thing--we realized that shooting defenseless animals was cruel and pointless", explained state spokeswoman Sara Blanche. "However, the shooting of Junior fans makes much more sense--they tend to put up a good fight when they're loaded, plus there's so damn many of them."
The movement gained steam when a report came out earlier this month confirming that over 75% of Nascar fans are, in fact, Junior fans. Experts have pointed to depletions of Bud supplies, low levels of red dye reserves, and the clogging of sports radio airwaves as signs that the Junior fan population has gotten out of control.
Neighboring states are considering similar measures, especially after seeing an influx of Junior fans following the law's passing. Such laws do have precedence--in 1998 Tennessee tagged and neutered all Jeff Gordon fans, and a movement gained steam in the late-80's to migrate all Bill Elliott fans to rural Montana.