What if Drivers had to Work for their Sponsors? PART 1

When it comes to their sponsors, drivers have it pretty good. They shake a few hands, sign a few autographs, laugh at a few bad jokes by the CEO, and they’re done. But shouldn’t drivers do more? Wouldn’t the sponsor benefit even more if their driver actually worked for them? Let’s take a look at how that would work out for the drivers:


PART I

Joe Nemechek (Army): “OK, privates—you are NOT permitted to make fun of the rectangular shape of my head. You are NOT permitted to joke about my association with a New York wine maker. And you are NOT allowed to stuff Burger King wrappers in my pockets. Are we clear?!?”

Clint…Bowyer (Jack Daniels/DirecTV): “Look…I don’t care HOW steep the roof is, call my boss if you wanna. I install satellite dishes BETTER when I’ve hadda few. Now gimme the flask!”

Martin Truex (Bass Pro Shops): “What’s it gonna take me to put you in this boat today? A gun? Because we got those here too.”

Kurt Busch (Miller Lite): “Do you know who I am?!? I’m the top driver for this company! So let me pull my side loader into the liquor store—I got drunks to service!”

Scott Wimmer (AERO Exhaust): (trying to sound enthusiastic) “Yes, a $2,000 exhaust system is just what you need to ‘pimp out’ your ’98 Cavalier.”

Kyle Busch (Carquest/Kellogg’s): Kyle’s Boss: “Now, Kyle, this is the fourth time we found Frosted Flakes in the carburetor of the company pickup. Don’t make me revoke your driving privileges.”
Mark Martin (AAA): Mark: “I’m just blessed—BLESSED—to be working for such a great GREAT company, and to be in the presence of such great people as you guys.”Motorist: “That’s great Mark, but I just need you to change my tire.”

PART II TOMORROW