“Orange Revolution” Defeats Nascar’s ruling Party

“Orange Revolution” Defeats Nascar’s ruling Party
In an outcome that has sent shockwaves throughout the motorsports world, opposition leader Tony Stewartko scored a decisive victory in the 2005 Nascar elections over former ruler Boris Franceavich.
“Today, we have made a step towards the future!” Stewartko told his orange-clad supporters at a rally near the Moorsville Home Depot. “Nascar will move towards a future of aggressive driving, fair punishment, and NO FIELD FILLERS!”
Stewartko’s win follows a tenuous campaign which saw the ruling Franceavich declared the winner in the first round of elections. However, when it was discovered that Franceavich himself had been in charge of the counting, a recount was ordered. Nascar’s Supreme High Court (aka Mike Helton) allowed for a runoff.
Stewartko’s rabid group of fans, known collectively as the “Orange Revolution”, rushed to obtain diecast cars commemorating Stewarko’s victory. Some suspected that they might be painted-over Jeff Green AOL cars, but these were only suspicions at this time.
Franceavich is expected to challenge the results, and has strong financial backing from Powerade to continue his fight. It is believed that if Stewartko’s victory is upheld, Franceavich will move on to destroy another racing series, most likely IRL.

IN NEXT WEEK’S ISSUE:
New ESPN Movie “4: The Jimmy Spencer Story” fails to garner ratings
Travis Kvapil has first awkward silence with Rusty Wallace
Jarrett/Madden album goes platinum in dream/nightmare

This Week:
The above article is new (obviously). Every day this week, I'll post one of my "classic" articles from The Pits Online. Then, at the end o'the week, its another new article. The PERFECT way to fill the void left in your life by Dave Barry. That bastard...